Doctor's Wee Problem
by sickfantasies
Summary: As a Time Lord, the Doctor sometimes forgets humans must attend to their needs far more often than he does. What does the TARDIS think of this? How will she get him back for not properly caring for his companions? I picked 11, the TARDIS, Amy, and Rory to tell this story since they were easiest for me to picture. Warning: contains omorashi, rated M for suggestive themes


**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who! If I did, I would've found some way to work this in ;)**

The Doctor was thankful he didn't have to attend to his basic physiological needs as often as his human companions. It was honestly a bit annoying at times to have to keep finding them food, drink, a toilet, or a bed for whatever need required fulfillment at that time. Sometimes, he could prolong all of the above long enough to be able to take care of them all in succession on the same day and not be bothered by them for a while after that. Since humans could not do the same, he always felt bad when he failed to meet these needs for his companions in a timely manner, but always quickly got over such feelings. One day, not too long after Amy and Rory had had close calls, the TARDIS decided to help them seek their revenge. Besides, he was always calling her sexy, why shouldn't she play with a new kink? She did so love to mess with him occasionally, get him all hot and bothered. She had never fully embarrassed him before, and hoped he'd forgive her for doing so now.

It was one of those days when the Doctor had planned to wake up from his slumber, pop off to the loo, and grab a bite to eat with Amy and Rory. The Doctor stretched as he awoke from a pleasant dream. Pleasant dreams were nice for a change. He exchanged pyjamas for his trademark outfit including his tweed jacket and red bowtie. The pressure in his lower abdomen indicated that perhaps he had put off a trip to the loo a bit too long. That would be the downside of being alive for about a millennium. _Best make this quick_, he thought, heading down the corridor he knew the TARDIS kept the toilet in. He reached the familiar door and released a small sigh of relief. He pushed the door open to discover a great empty room.

"Oh, come on—what have you done with the toilet? It's always here. I've told you, you can't just go changing things up on me. Despite my outward appearance, I'm not as young as I was when we stole each other."

This was the part where she would normally give him a response telepathically. This morning, he received nothing.

"What? Not talking to me, old girl? I can't imagine what for. No matter. I'll try another door."

The Doctor tried a total of five other doors with no success. He gave up after that, knowing it would be pointless to go on. The TARDIS didn't want him going to the toilet and, as annoying as that was, he knew she would not give in until she wanted to, the stubborn old thing. They were too much alike in that respect.

"Fine. No matter, I'll just go have breakfast first. I expect to be able to find the toilet afterwards. Fortunately, this need is not too great for me to manage."

The TARDIS knew that last sentence would not remain true for long. She felt how much slower and heavier his footsteps were than normal. She knew it was bothering him even now and couldn't wait to see how bad it would be later. Upon reaching the kitchen, he put the kettle on for tea and proceeded to make an omelet and some toast. He would've gone full English, but had never acquired the taste for bacon with this mouth. The Doctor settled in to enjoy his breakfast. He didn't know what he'd done to offend the TARDIS, but he wasn't going to let her get the best of him. And he most certainly was not about to let her win. The tea had an unusual flavour. The TARDIS couldn't add her own ingredients, could she? Nonetheless, he finished his cuppa and was very concerned about the growing pressure in his bladder.

"Right. Now, I'm glad the humans haven't seen me in such an embarrassing state. I'd prefer to keep it that way. I'm going to go back down that hallway and I better find the toilet in its usual spot."

He headed down the hallway. The door led to the same empty room. As disappointing as this was, he maintained his cool. As calmly as possible, we walked to the other 5 doors, none of which yielded any promising results. The fifth door opened to reveal Rory and Amy in the midst of a very passionate and intimate encounter.

"Good morning, Ponds! A fine time to carry on doing what you were doing. When you're finished you may want to check out the films I've loaded to the cinema. Don't mind me."

He left the room. Exhaling as he went. He felt a spasm coming on. One hand went simply between his legs. The other went straight to his now-throbbing member to give it a tight squeeze. As he removed his hand from his pants, he could feel his rock-hard bladder protruding visibly on his thin frame. Imagine a Time Lord running out of time to do something. That was the case as this would be on his personal timeline as would whatever was causing the TARDIS to do this.

He frantically checked the doors again. He had to pause for pinching, squeezing, dancing, and other holding methods in between door checks. Still no luck. That's when he started to become slightly panicked.

"Okay...This is new. I usually have complete control of myself. Why not now? Oh!"

He had to give himself a long, hard squeeze to stem the flow. A bit had escaped into his pants, but not enough to get to his trousers. While his hand was down there, he decided to stroke himself to become nice and erect to prevent any more escaping.

"Look, whatever I've done to deserve this, I'm sorry! What do you mean, not sorry enough? Please, just let me go!"

"I'm not stopping you."

"What do you mean? Wee in my trousers? That's sick! What if Amy and Rory saw me? I'd never hear the end of it!"

"And yet they have forgiven you for their close calls..."

"That was one time! That's it, then! This is what you're punishing me for! I'm sorry! I'll take better care of my humans!"

"Not as sorry as I am. There's only one way this could end. Run, my thief!"

The Doctor knew he had better listen, no matter how difficult the task. One hand gripping his member, the other for balance, he took off running as fast as possible. He was horrified to feel his erection shrinking, knowing he'd likely not get another one and was therefore really fighting a losing battle.

Despite his tightest grip, spurts were escaping from his throbbing member. His trousers were dark, but you could see the sheen of a wet patch the size of a golf ball growing to that of a grapefruit. The Doctor let out a few grunts of desperation, determination, or both as he struggled to regain control. The wet patch was stretching farther and farther down his leg when the TARDIS led him to a corridor full of doors. He began opening them one by one. Demonstrating that she was made of wibbly wobbly, shippy wippy stuff, the TARDIS revealed things not usually found next to each other: the library, the wardrobe, a secondary control room, his bedroom, etc. It was the sight of the swimming pool that really got to him. Somehow, he managed not to lose complete control. At the end of the corridor, he opened a door to reveal a toilet.

"Oh, you sexy thing..." He panted, thinking he'd won.

He charged into the room. Standing in front of the toilet, he shifted from foot to foot as he began to fool with his zipper. As if trembling fingers weren't enough, his zipper would not budge. Being so close and yet so far from relief was just too much.

"NO! No...no...no...no..."

It started off as a scream, but ended up barely a whisper. Tears started in his eyes and continued to stream down his face. The floodgates had opened, releasing a torrent of piss all over the front of his trousers. It created quite a puddle on the floor. The Doctor sank to his knees and cried in despair for some time.

"You win," he muttered sadly.

The TARDIS shuddered. The Ponds would have no idea why, but the Doctor was not fooled.

"That's disgusting. Getting off on a thing such as this."

He got up and went to go change. He took solace in the fact that there was no sign of the Ponds. At least, not at first. As the Doctor rounded a corner, there came Amy running up to him with Rory not far behind.

"Doctor! We felt the TARDIS shudder. Is everything alright?"

"Of course it is. It's always alright. Oh, Amy..."

In contradiction to those words, he began crying again. Amy and Rory finally noticed his soaked trousers.

"Is that wee? Have you pissed yourself?"

"Shouldn't hold so long, you'll get an infection or whatnot..." Rory piped up.

"Yes, I've pissed myself! Pissing yourself is NOT cool! It's the TARDIS's fault. She was angry with me for nearly getting the two of you in the same state. This was her punishment for me. So let me tell you

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he told them, feeling a bit like his previous regeneration with the bit at the end.

"Oh, come here, raggedy man!"

Amy put an arm around his neck. The Doctor buried his face in her shoulder and let the tears come. She held him and rubbed his back until the tears subsided.

"Did you think we'd be upset with you for that? There are worse things you could do to us and you know it."

"It is sort of annoying," remarked Rory.

"Shut it, Rory. Come, Doctor, let's get you cleaned up."


End file.
